I feel like I’ve been going into withdrawal since I have not
yet mastered the art of functioning 24 hours a day, without a modicum of sleep,
even if that modicum is chock full of work dreams. Hence, no creative writing or blog for far
too long for me.
Writing? More writing
than I know what to do with but I have to confess not the kind of writing I
enjoy sharing with all of you. Business
writing, doncha know. Dry as dirt
financial data, projections. The stuff
nightmares are made of, especially for the mathematically challenged.
I feel
like someone turned on the tap for my ‘business brain’ and now it’s flooded.
Running here, running there, I’m learning the Greater Barrie
area far quicker and better than I ever thought possible. I don’t think I even need to use my GPS so
much anymore but I do bring it with me and program it, just so I can hear Jill
say, “turn left in 1 miles”, or my favourite, “in 300 feet make a U-turn”. She keeps me company.
I’m so far behind in watching ‘my shows’, I’m not even sure
that the Survivors have reached the island yet.
Don’t touch the espresso-whatever-possessed-me-coloured furniture
or the speckled brown kitchen transaction counter top. If I can’t see fingerpaw smudges in the dust,
I won’t feel compelled to clean.
Pinky (Tuscadero), the baby, feels so neglected ‘cause
I’m not taking sofa siestas much anymore and she misses the knee curl. So much
so, that she jumps up on my naked thighs when I’m using the throne and then
digs in her freshly honed (on the back of the sofa, no less) needles, trying
to keep her balance. She really doesn’t
understand the screech of agony I emit but startled, adds to the carnage by
leaping off, her back claws digging in deep for better leverage, trying for the gold
medal in long distance leaping. It’s a
good thing I love her.
Carpe Diem - seize the day…seize the moment, but bloody
hell, don’t let the hood latch on your car seize. Not only does it cost about $200.00 to fix
but it costs an entire afternoon of homework time to get it fixed, ‘cause… the
young man with the purple Mohawk, tats inked over every square inch of visible
derma, has just informed me that he
drained all the oil out of my car (I was getting it changed), BEFORE he popped the hood latch. Go figure but you won’t go far, ‘cause there’s
not a drop of oil left in the car.
Meals? You mean home-made, real meals? Fuhgeddaboudit. Add the good ole’ Lipton chicken noodle soup standby
(ready in 5 minutes), to the sandwich you made for lunch but were too busy to
eat and call it supper.
One good thing about not having time to prepare proper
meals, is, at least, that grocery shopping only has to be done when you’re
totally out of convenience food (unless you have demanding family members
staging a mutiny for better living conditions).
Of course, it would help to have the carefully crafted grocery list in
your hand when you’re actually at the store but it’s still gracing the top
right-hand corner of the fridge, affixed with the cheerful, yellow, smiley face
magnet.
Stopped in the middle of the ketchup aisle, I screw up my
face in an effort to remember what in the hell I have on the damn list. A concerned citizen stops to ask if I’m okay
or should she have the “girl” call the paramedics. I move on.
Oh and what about housework?
Make sure you have multiple sets of utensils and dinnerware. And at least a double sink. You can always buy one of those plastic sinks
people buy when they go camping. It’ll
hold the overflow from the dishwasher until someone remembers to turn it on and
the clean stuff will magically waft its way to its rightful place in the
kitchen cupboards and drawers… I have some land in Florida you might want to check out…
Turn that accidental oops, dropping a recently replenished
mega size plastic ‘glass’ of ice water on the ceramic tile, into the ideal
opportunity to wash the kitchen floor, scrubbing especially hard in the places
you recently started sticking to.
All in all, it’s been three weeks of total intensity, with
more weeks to go than I care to count.
One of the saving graces and probably the reason that I’m still slightly
sane, is my daily walk with Sofie, The Wonder Dog, who waits for me with quiet
anticipation. I throw out the magic word
“walkies” and start making my way toward the front door. Then, as if drawn by a dark force, I sit down
at my computer to finish ‘just one more sentence’. Audibly sighing, or as I refer to it, giving
me the dog version of a Jewish guilt trip, she lies down by the front door and
patiently waits until my “one more sentence” is done.
About twenty minutes later I’m instantly forgiven when I finally
make it to the front door and open it.
Sofie leaps to her feet, feathery tail helicoptering at high velocity,
then bounces down the walkway to the street, waiting for me to catch up. I take a few deep breaths of the fresh spring
evening and laugh at Sofie as she grins at me and woofs, “Hurry up!” One of life’s simple pleasures to treasure and
truly the paws which refreshes my weary sole.
*© 2013 Sofie, The Wonder
Dog
© 2015 Phyllis Mahon aka Undercover Sandycove-r - “ALL IMAGES AS COPYRIGHTED BY PHYLLIS MAHON ARE PROTECTED AND REGISTERED … IT’S UNLAWFUL TO REPOST, COPY OR PUBLISH IMAGES FROM THIS WEBSITE.”
BRILLIANT!!!!! LAUGHED MY BUTT OFF!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU - LW
ReplyDeleteLove the blog... CI
ReplyDeleteMade me smile several times. much enjoyed.
ReplyDelete