Sunday, December 30, 2012

DON'T GO DOWN IN THE CELLAR...



Grandma always said, “Don’t go down in the cellar because…” and just let the sentence trickle away.   She would never finish that sentence. No matter how much my brother and I tried coaxing her, Grandma remained mute as to why we shouldn't/couldn’t go down in the basement.  



Our feeble attempts at blandishments, compliments and bribes were met with a vague smile, as her lazy eye twirled to the outer limits.  We would try and guess why we couldn’t go down in the basement; everything from something stolen, usually from an important archeological dig in some far off land or a mummified body of an old-time gangster buried in a shadowy corner.  The countless, small rooms formed a rabbit-warren-like maze, perfect for hiding all sorts of dark and mysterious secrets.




Every year, on our summer vacation to Grandma's remote hobby farm, built in the shadow of the Canadian Shield, our speculations grew wilder and  scarier.  The last summer when we were there, me, wise beyond my years at 10 and my baby brother, juvenile at 8,  tried again to pry the reason out of Grandma.  We were surprised and astounded when she said, “All right, all right already.  I’m tired of all your years trying to pry the answer out of me, I’ll tell you why you mustn’t go down in the cellar.”  We leaned forward in anticipation, two sets of bright blue googly eyes riveted on old Grams.  Grandma started talking, her wispy old voice barely audible, “You mustn’t go down in the cellar because…” All of a sudden, Grandma stopped speaking, gasped, sucked her breath in and didn't let it out again, then toppled out of her rocking chair, dead as a mackerel!


Image courtesy of by Witthaya Phonsawat/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net














                                                     
                                                        



Friday, December 14, 2012

TIME WARP




 

Funny how time flies when you’re on the computer.  Not funny ha, ha but funny weird, like you’re in another dimension or parallel universe where time is strangely warped.  Recently, I was on my way to bed around 10:15 p.m., when I remembered that I was recording something in my bedroom, which ended at 11:00 p.m.  Oh, poop, I won't be able to watch my VCR tape until recording is finished.  Yes, I know, VCRs are so passé but they’re paid for and I know how to program them.  I’m able to fall asleep on the sofa (one of my favourite things to do on The Killer Couch), wake up, take my VCR tape from the living room machine, pop it in the bedroom machine, go to bed and continue to watch the show I fell asleep watching – which I will then fall asleep watching again but, at least this time I’m in bed.

Shoot, I thought to myself, how will I be able to kill 45 minutes?   I’d already shut everything down in the living room and didn’t want to turn it all back on again, so I tidied up a bit, took some more stuff out to the blue box, which was already at the curb and then sat down at my computer, ostensibly to shut the thing down for the night.  Well, here it is, almost 10:55 and the 45 minutes are pretty much gone.  And it didn’t seem to take so long to pass by either.  Why is that, I ask myself? 

If I was sitting in the doctor’s waiting room or car dealership or standing in line at Service Ontario to get my license sticker renewed, the time would have dragged by like I was having a root canal.  Yet, sit down at the computer and start surfing or checking Facebook or writing and all of a sudden, it’s like 1:00 o’clock in the morning.  How does that happen?  Time Warp is how.  And there seems to be different kinds of Time Warps – one like the above (Computer Warp) and another type which happens when you're driving – Trip Time Warp

I experienced Trip Time Warp about a year or so ago when I was still living in The Town down under, and on my way to Montreal for a family Thanksgiving.  I decided to take the back roads via the North route and enjoy the spectacular fall foliage and set off bright and early, headed for Bancroft.  For those of you who don’t know where that is, it’s about 135 miles (220 km) northeast of where I used to live.  

According to Google maps, it takes about 3.5 hours to get there from The Town down under.  Curious about how long it would take to get to Bancroft from my new place here in South Park, SCA, I checked it out.  I thought that it would be much faster to get there from here, since I’m so much further north.  But, again according to Google maps, there’s only a 6 mile (13 km), 5 minute difference, which I don’t understand ‘cause I’m about 30 miles (49 km) more north than where I used to live.  And, again, according to Google maps, it should take 1 hour and 3 minutes to get here (South Park, SCA) from The Town down under.  So, now that I have confused this story with facts and gotten way off base, how come there’s so little a difference in miles and time to get to Bancroft from here?  Could this be another form of warp?

Anyhoo, as I continue making my way to just a little bit west of Montreal where my family lives, I stay on the back roads and enjoy the scenery.  It usually takes me about 12 hours to get to Montreal doing the rural routes but I find the drive so much more enjoyable.  I take my time and stop to stretch my legs and Sofie’s, and we have lots of walks in interesting places. 
  
One of my favourite places to stop at in Bancroft is The Princess Sodalite Mine Rock Shop.  It’s just a klick or two past Bancroft’s main drag and I find it fascinating.  You can actually go out back and mine for rocks.  Tailings are constantly transplanted there from the Princess Sodalite Mine, along with truckloads of materials from local mines, quarries, etc.  There’s a huge variety of rocks and minerals to hunt for and choose from. They supply collecting pails (bring your own rock hammer, if you wish) and charge so much per pound for your treasures.  If you decide to visit, remember to wear totally closed-in shoes!  That’s the only way you’ll be  allowed in the ‘mine’.

As the day starts to wane, I’m getting tired and just a little bit bored with the drive.  I start checking the clock more frequently but the time doesn’t seem to advance much.  I punch a more direct route into the GPS, including highway as an option, so my drive now takes me through highway hell, aka Ottawa, at rush hour.  I call my sister around 5:00 o’clock to let her know that I’m still alive and mostly on track and that according to the Garmin guru, I should be there around 6:30ish.  Well, for the next 50 miles (80 km) or so, it seems like the clock has gotten stuck at the 5:00ish point and I don’t seem to be getting much closer to the tiny town where my sister lives.  I pull over to the side of the road and telephone her again to let her know that calling out the National Guard is not necessary and hopefully, I’ll be there soon.  It feels like I’m stuck in a time warp.  I try to explain this feeling to my sister and she seems to understand.

I finally make it to my destination and get out of the car, stretching and bending to loosen up, ever so happy to be there and not in a moving car.  Sofie would be happier if we were home but is okay as long as she’s with me.

So now back to the present, it’s the witching hour, 12:00 o’clock midnight, and here I still sit, at the computer.  What happened to 10:55?
  
(Riff Raff) It's astounding
Time is fleeting
Madness takes it's toll...

(Magenta) Ahh...

(Riff Raff) But listen closely...

(Magenta) Not for very much longer...

(Riff Raff) I've got to keep control.
I remember doing the Time Warp.
Drinking those moments when
The blackness would hit me.

(Riff Raff & Magenta) And the void would be calling.

(Guests) Let's do the Time Warp again.
Let's do the Time Warp again.



Songwriters: O'BRIEN, RICHARD

Credit for the ‘Lips’ image and Time Warp song goes to one of my most favourite movies of all time, The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

CATS – PART DEUX (NO, STILL NOT THE STAGE PLAY)



And so the saga continues – same cat place, same cat channel – same cat problem…

Below is an actual notice (exactly as is), posted on a website to which I subscribe, and has nothing to do with lost pets but I guess any port in a storm...  

STILL MISSING TAKE TIME TO READ PLEASE “*MORGAN

UPDATE: MORGAN has been seen , Linden, .Ashwood, Swan and, then Alcona Glen School area and . crossroads parks & ON Nov 7th at 25th side rd and 9th Line on Wallace near Goodfellow school she is trying to get home Please Share this Link to your friends to anyone in ALCONA need another Lead soon ......PLEASE SHARE THIS LINK TO YOUR FRIENDS
"MORGAN" 1 year old Tortoiseshell KITTY, she is spayed, black torty color white tips on paws and white and Gold chest, gold spot over eye and has pink on upper lip and nose
I am sure she is very scared . people say they saw her sleeping on their front porch but we are always a day to late please keep an eye open for her anywhere in Alcona Innisfil we need to get her home before it get real cold out .
OUR FAMILY IS WORRIED SICK ABOUT HER she never left the property before
if you think you have seen her please call day or night as she is quick.  she climbs trees and runs fast so please check your property on porches & decks at night under decks and trees on your property . she is terrified of the garbage truck.
please copy this link and Facebook your friends in Alcona more people looking the faster we can get her home thanks to all that share this link see other ads for more pictures of Morgan
AGAIN I ASK>>>
PLEASE share Link with Facebook Friends In ALCONA PLEASE Help Get Morgan Home


Breaks your heart, doesn’t it, to read about yet another cat who is now on the run because the owners didn’t think their cat would do what comes natural to cats.  Cats like to roam.  Why take the risk that your cat will go out one day and never come home again? 

I learned that lesson the hard way, with the first cat my daughter and I adopted after my marriage went down the tubes.  C.J. was short for Calamity Jane and she was so aptly named for her inclination to get up on all horizontal surfaces.  Far from graceful, she would knock things off or over, including the water glass on my night table onto my head, while I was sleeping.  

First mistake - adopting C.J. from the local SPCA.  She got so sick within the first 48 hours, she almost died.  The SPCA would not pay vet bills - the only option they gave us?  Return the kitten and get another one.  Really?  Who, in their right mind would do that?  We couldn't even get our money back.  We already loved C.J., so we took a hard look at our options.  We found a vet who would try and save her but it would be pricey; or we could bring her back to the SPCA (and a certain death). 

And so, at the tender age of 9, my daughter faced the reality of being the child of a single mom, who could ill afford vet care.  When I told her how much it would cost to try and save C.J. (with no promise that she would live), my daughter said she would pay half, if it meant C.J. would have a chance to get better. That came to about $40.00, (vet care was a lot cheaper back in the early ‘80s).     

C.J. was at the vet's for 2 or 3 days, on intravenous and was also de-wormed, de-loused and de-mited.  I’m sure the vet gave me a huge break on his fees.  C.J. got better and we should have all lived happily ever after but that was not the case.

My second mistake was thinking cats HAVE to go outside.  We were living in an apartment over the garage in a split level house.  It was situated on a huge lot, backing onto green space, and a creek meandering through it.  One night, C.J. went out and never came home again.  We were heart broken.  We put up posters, offering a reward and the word went out to all the kids on the street to be on the look out for her.  But C.J. never came home again.  We had been through so much to keep her alive and now she was gone forever. 

A couple of the neighbourhood kids came knocking one damp evening and brought a shivering, scared-out-of-her-mind kitten to us, thinking it was C.J.  She wasn’t but that’s how Babe came to live with us and she was an indoor cat from then on.
                                                                   ----------
Why am I upset and disappointed with Sandycove Acres? (see Cats! Part I)  I had a problem with one neighbourhood cat when I lived in The Town down under.  Imagine my horror when I found out about the HUNDREDS of roaming cats here in Sandycove Acres!

The depth of my disenchantment and disillusion is proportionate to the scope of the problem.  Hundreds of roaming cats - ferals, strays and house pets!  I believe SCA should make full disclosure about this problem, instead of the carefully sanitized version I got.  According to *Julie (SCA admin office), they are well aware that there is a problem here in The Park and that it’s been going on for several years.  But, it seems to be a deep, dark secret until after you sign on the dotted line.  It’s been so bad, that SCA made a donation to Furry Friends, a local rescue/no kill shelter to trap the cats and kittens and remove them. 

SCA really doesn't have to do anything about the problem.  If you were living in a sub-division somewhere else and had the same problem, would you expect the builder to do something about it?  So I give SCA credit that they have, at least, done something. 

According to Neal Carr, a volunteer with Furry Friends who handles the trapping, to date he’s taken out 115 cats and kittens from Sandycove and there are approximately 275 more to go.  But the donation has been depleted and trapping is suspended

SCA can use donations they make to Furry Friends to their marketing (and tax deductible) advantage.  They can let potential buyers know, that although there is a problem, which does not fall under their purview, at least they are trying to resolve it.  Complete information enables one to make informed decisions.  Forewarned is forearmed.
-------
Who are these feline terrorists and where do they come from?  When talking to Neal about trapping a couple of roaming cats who are tormenting my girls, what happens frequently here in SCA, is that when residents die or are moved out of The Park, the decision makers simply open the door, encourage the cats outside, and never let them in again.  How cruel.   

According to another resident, townies come and drop off their no-longer-cute cat in The Park, thinking that the “old people” will take them in and give them a home. 

"Old people" may put out food and water and let the cats live under their houses but most will not take them in.  This exacerbates an already bad problem, as the cats now have food and shelter and no incentive to go elsewhere.
 
Cats breed like mad fools – did you know that female cats can be in heat continuously?  Do you know how many litters they can have in a year?  Do you know how many kittens can be birthed in one female cat’s lifetime?

Some interesting cat facts:
  •  During her productive life, one female cat could have more than 100 kittens
  •  In 1952, a Texas Tabby named Dusty set the record by having more than 420 kittens before having her last litter at age 18
  • The largest known litter (with all surviving) was that of a Persian in South Africa named Bluebell. Bluebell gave birth to 14 kittens in one litter!
  •  A cat can live twenty or more years.  The average age for an indoor cat is 15 years, while the average age for an outdoor cat is only 3 to 5 years 

One of my neighbours told me she likes the strays because they keep the rodent population down.  When I mention that they can bring fatal diseases and fleas and mites to my patio door, my cats and me, she said she hadn’t thought about that.  I say, “Get a mousetrap (no, not the play!).” 

According to Neal, professional pest control companies which trap animals, charge about $250.00 per house call.   Because Furry Friends is staffed entirely by volunteers, there is no cost for personnel but the labour and time required is just as consuming in man-hours.  Furry Friends (and similar organizations) deserve support and compensation for the great work that they are doing.

When Furry Friends rescues a cat or kitten, medical care, which is required immediately, costs $120.00.  This includes altering (either spay or neuter) and covers the first set of vaccinations, rabies shot, de-fleaing and de-worming.  That's just basic care for felines who are in pretty good shape.  There are so many, who have so many things wrong with them, they require special care, which costs a whole lot more.  

A couple of weeks ago when *Debra of SCA, informed me of the donation, she also mentioned she didn’t think that it was going to be repeated.  I really hope SCA reconsiders, since I find the next cat fact the scariest –
  • A single pair of cats and their kittens can produce as many as 420,000 kittens in just 7 years!
I believe it behooves SCA to continue to deal with the issue.

----------

Furry Friends is a registered, non-profit shelter, tax-deductible receipts will be issued for any donation $10.00 and above.  Please mail or bring your donation to: 

Furry Friends Animal Shelter Inc.
25 Hart Drive, Unit 15
Barrie, Ontario L4N 5R8
Phone:  705-792-4911

Web site:  www:furryfriendsshelter.org





The domestic cat is a small, usually furry, domesticated, carnivorous mammal. It is often called the housecat when kept as an indoor pet, or simply the cat when there is no need to distinguish it from other felids and felines. Wikipedia
Scientific name: Felis catus
Rank: Species


Saturday, November 10, 2012

CATS! (BUT NOT THE PLAY)


An ear-bleeding shriek accomplishes the almost impossible - waking me up from a sound (rare) sleep and the most delicious dream I’ve had in a long time (no fair).  An ominous growl fills the space the shriek died in and I’m spurred into action.  Sitting bolt upright in bed, heart pounding, eyes trying to pierce the Stygian darkness (black out blinds are very effective), I switch on the small, cut-glass bedside lamp and scan my bedroom, trying to figure out what in the hell is going on. 

My gaze falls upon the almost motionless cat squatting on my dresser, furry, gray face pressed up against the window screen.  The short, jerky twitch of the last inch of her puffed up tail is the only sign that she’s alive.  Based on the noise which has woken me up, I could have sworn she’d been killed in battle against an intruder but no, the enemy is on the outside and making the same noises as C.C., (short for Crazy Cat).  I’m surprised my neighbours haven’t called the police – it sure sounded like someone was being murdered!

But then, perhaps my neighbours have become inured to these kinds of sounds, as most of them have been living here a lot longer than me.  The problem?    CATS!!!  Feral cats, stray cats, domestic cats on the prowl, almost every kind of cat, except, of course, indoor cats, like mine.  These interlopers seem to make a beeline for my house and, maybe I’m paranoid, but they seem to target my property because they KNOW I have cats who are always inside and, therefore, in their tiny but large-brained cat heads, my cats are the ones they MUST torture.  They do not fear retaliation from their confined counterparts.  Why should they?  They’re on the outside looking in. 

My poor babies are in one of the most luxurious ‘prisons’ known to womankind and are, for the most part, quite content, except when these feline fighters face-off on their home turf and C.C. seems to be determined to protect her territory by going ‘over the wall’ when I open the door, even if the enemies are nowhere nearby at the time.

C.C. is about 4 years old.   I got her from a cat shelter which ran adoption clinics in the pet food store I used to go to, in the Town down under.  Although keeping her indoors was premeditated, I did have her ‘altered’ (today’s word for ‘fixed’), as I wanted to make sure that if she did get out accidentally, she wouldn’t come home with “her belly up under her chin”, as my father used to so delicately describe pregnancy.  Since I moved into my new house here in SCA, C.C. sometimes makes a break for it when I open the front door and darts out.  She gets out a couple of feet (.6 m) or so onto the porch and then stops like she’s run into a brick wall.  Hunkering down, she looks around wildly, various expressions flickering across her gray, furry face, “What in the heck have I done now?  Where am I?  What should I do now?  Why is Mom screaming at me?  Man, what happened to the heat?  It’s friggin’ freezing out here.  Ewwwww, what is that horrible stuff on my feet?  IT’S WET!!!!  My feet are frozen!  Oh, man, how come I didn’t realize I have it so good on the inside?”   The progressive thought process clicks in and with one galvanized jump, C.C. clears my legs, then the threshold and scampers back into the house, no worse for wear from her brief jail break.  I sigh with relief that I don’t have to go chasing her across SCA and slam the door smartly behind her rapidly retreating rump.

Anyhoo, back to the ‘other’ kinds of cats…     

Apparently, there is a cat problem here in SCA.  Really?  No one filled me in on that one before I purchased my house here.  Almost everywhere I look, I can see a skulking cat somewhere close by, especially when the sun starts to go down.  What happened to the RULE?  You know the one in the 12 page lease, Rule #5,629 (yes, a little sarcasm there) that states:   PETS -

a.  A pet is an animal owned by the Tenant for which the tenant has obtained permission from the Landlord to keep on or within the Site. 

c.  Control of Pets:  (i)Care and control of Pets shall be the sole responsibility of the Tenant.  The Tenant shall exercise such proper care and control as the Landlord might expect of a reasonable pet owner.

(iii)  Dogs and cats shall be leashed at all times while outdoors.
(iv)  The Tenant shall restrict pets from entering onto the sits of other Tenants in the Park.
(vi) If the Tenant fails to exercise proper care and control of its pets, as determined solely by the Landlord, then the Landlord shall give notice in writing to require the Tenant to remove the pet from the Park in accordance with the terms of the Notice, and the Tenant shall do so.

Yada, yada, yada. . .

I only hit the high points of the Pet-relevant clauses contained in the Lease and as I feel they relate to this problem and story.  I have to say that I am totally disillusioned by not only having to deal with this huge problem but also that I was not informed that there was this kind of problem, prior to deciding where I would buy my new home.  According to a voice-mail left by Julie, SCA admin office, (name has been changed), SCA is well aware that there is a problem with these fearless felines in The Park and that it’s been going on “for several years in the area.”

And so the saga begins – stay tuned – same cat place, same cat channel – same cat problem…
 


                                                                       Feral cat
 
                                                                      



A feral cat is a descendant of a domesticated cat that has returned to the wild. It is distinguished from a stray cat, which is a pet cat that has been lost or abandoned, while feral cats are born in the wild. Wikipedia
Scientific name: Felis Catus






Wednesday, October 31, 2012

OH, IT’S SO MUCH FUN BEING A LANDLORD



I used to be a Landlord in the Town down below, before I moved to South Park, SCA.  Disillusioned by my experiences as a Landlord, I bought my cozy, single family home here in SCA.  Based on my experiences with tenants, and thus, becoming very familiar with the Landlord & Tenant Act of Ontario, I would never do it again.  It’s no wonder Ontario has the lowest vacancy rate of rental accommodation in the whole Western World.  It’s my opinion, that the Landlord & Tenant (L & T) laws are so slanted in a tenant’s favour, that no rational person would want to be a Landlord more than once.  Okay, okay, maybe some of the preceding is a little exaggerated, but really, not much, in my opinion.

My last house was in the Town down below and was built around 1959 (and so just a bit younger than me).  The white, brick bungalow is on the curve of a crescent, set well back from the road, surrounded by a very long, cedar hedge.  The then-scraggly hedge ran the length of the 155’ lot (47 meters), with a small break near the east end, allowing access from the wide boulevard and the driveway.  It is surrounded by parks on three sides of ravine areas.  Originally built by a M.D., it is still locally known as The Doctor’s House. 

The house was owned by a woman in her golden years and her daughter, and had been rented out, top and bottom, by them, for about 10 years.  They also owned another house on the same crescent, in which they lived.  Nice people and, coincidentally, I knew the older woman’s sister, who worked in the bank I patronized near my office.  All very nice people, BUT, and you just knew there had to be a BUT, somewhat deceptive when it came to what they had done to ‘enhance’ the property for sale but that story will have to wait for another time.

The house was not very far from Toronto and almost exactly half-way between the two major 400 highways.  There is a beautiful, three-bedroom basement apartment in that house.  Before I bought the house, I made sure that the apartment was legal and registered with The Town.  At that point in time, I wasn’t sure that I would rent out the apartment but so loved the house and especially its private location on the crescent, I couldn’t resist buying it.  I also made sure that I could manage the mortgage, taxes and upkeep without having the rental income.  At that time, I had a high-powered, well-paying career and could swing it by myself, but I would have to tighten the belt here and there, especially since most the windows and patio door would have to be replaced soon.  I was prepared to do whatever it took.

There was no inside access to the apartment from the main floor, where I lived, and it seemed like such a shame to have that beautiful basement apartment sit vacant.  After six months or so and making some improvements, I naively found my first set of tenants. 

A couple, in their early twenties, along with their one year old son convinced me that they would make excellent tenants.  While they were at work, both of their extended families, approximately 8 -12 people, stayed at the house pretty much all day, ostensibly to babysit the child.  How many people does that take?  They were doing their laundry and washing their vehicles in the driveway, leaving the hose running (yes, even during water bans).  I’m not sure how many of them actually left to spend the nights in their own homes.  The utility bills more than quadrupled.  

One night while I was home, I could hear the smoke alarm sounding for quite a few minutes.  It was finally silenced.  A few months later, the young couple gave me their sixty day notice that they were moving out at the end of their twelve month lease, apparently because they bought their own house.  When I did my inspection before they moved, I could see that the kitchen ceiling was black with smoke damage.  According to the husband, something on the stove caught fire while he was occupied playing with his son but it wasn’t his fault.  “Who’s fault was it?” I asked.  “Oh, the stove’s fault”, says the tenant, absolutely straight-faced.  I was dumbfounded that he actually seemed to mean it.  It took many coats of paint (applied by me) to fix that damage.  There was no compensation for the cost of the paint and my time and effort. 

Do you think that if Ontario Landlords could request a security deposit, tenants may have to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions and repair damage before they move?  Or, at least Landlords would be compensated for their tenants’ carelessness by being able to keep their security deposit.  BUT Ontario Landlords are not allowed to ask for a security deposit.  Why not?

Tenants can be hard on a property.  A Landlord’s frequent lament is, “Tenants just don’t care about the property.  Why should they?  They don’t own it.”   After being a tenant most of my adult life, I can speak from that persona – tenants should care, after all, it is their home but most of them don't.

Another set of tenants, two men, friends in their early twenties, seemed promising.  By this time, I had learned a lot more about being a Landlord.  I did credit checks, employment checks, and previous landlord checks.  While my checks turned up an odd tick here and there (nobody’s perfect), they seemed like nice boys and I decided to give them a chance. 

Within three or four days of moving in, the roomie who had the best credit rating, couldn’t stand his flighty friend anymore and wanted to move out.  I explained that if he moved, his friend would also have to go.  Oh, and they would have to give me the equivalent of two months rent to compensate me for moving out only a month into their six month lease.  He chose to stay and I have to say, the next six months were rather interesting.  The volume of their fights increased with the passage of time and I had no trouble hearing their problems. 

Then, the ‘flighty’ one moved his brother in, gratis.  The brother had the chutzpah to say to me one time that he was ever so grateful to his brother for giving him a place to live after his marriage broke up and his wife kicked him out.  Really?  Other than maybe making some space in a cupboard so he could hang up his clothes, who was really paying the price for his presence?  Who does he think was paying for the increased utility usage?  Not his brother, for sure.

What inspired me to write this story?  I finally got around to reading a newsletter, published by an organization geared to Landlords who need help navigating the maze of government gobbledygook.  The lead story in this latest issue is entitled, ‘Human Rights in Rental Housing’ and is about whether or not landlords have the right to refuse to rent to same sex couples or gay individuals.  Oh, joy, now people have to worry about that kinda crap.  I can just see our tax dollars at work on this particular subject instead of going towards things like pensions (for the average Joe) or health-care, or education and so on, and so on, and so on. 

The inside story was even more interesting to me, because it seems that there is at least one Judge out there who has developed a bad case of reality and recently became enlightened.  He’s actually calling for legislative change, because as he put it, “My recent experience sitting as a single judge of this Court to hear motions, has convinced me that there is a growing practice by unscrupulous residential tenants to manipulate the law improperly, and often dishonestly, to enable them to remain in their rented premises for long periods of time without having to pay rent to their landlords.  It is [this] practice that imposes an unfair hardship on landlords that reflects badly on the civil justice system in Ontario.  It calls for the Government, the Landlord and Tenant Board and this Court to respond.”  The judge also stated that his case was ONE of many that went before him in a five day period.  The judge was referring to a case involving a small landlord who has just one residential unit above a store for rent.  The tenant owes a STAGGERING $22,445.00 in arrears. 

The problem apparently began the FIRST month of the tenancy in 2011, with the monthly rent being $3,600.  Can you believe that?  That poor landlord.  She didn’t let the situation drag on and hope that the tenant would pay what he owed and, subsequently, pay his monthly rent on time.  She took prompt action, following the rules and regs as set out by the Landlord and Tenant Act.  According to the landlord, the problem began only 6 days after the tenant moved in, in late 2011.  At the time of the printing of the newsletter (September 2012), almost ONE year after the problem started, at least one media report quoted the landlord as saying, “It’s not over yet.”   What will it take before the Province of Ontario and its lawmakers realize that they are shooting themselves in the foot by legislating landlords into the poorhouse?  As I asked, “Who, in their right mind, would want to be a landlord in Ontario, especially after reading that story?”

Apparently, that rental scammer has had one of his days in court, and provided a postdated cheque for the entire amount owing.  Then he persuaded the landlord’s friend who appeared on her behalf to withdraw the application to evict.  The cheque, which was POSTDATED only two days from the hearing date, was refused by the bank and returned it about a week after the hearing because the tenant stopped the payment.  Fun, huh?  Why didn’t the landlord insist on cash, you ask?  According to the Landlord and Tenant Act, Landlords CANNOT insist that rent be paid in cash.  Landlords cannot even insist that the tenant provide postdated cheques for the term of the lease.  Why not? 

Granted, it sounds like the Landlord shoulda/coulda handled things differently but, as we are fond of saying, “Hind sight is 20/20.”  I believe it is exactly this kind of experience that deters people who are of sound mind, to never even think of becoming a Landlord.  Oh, and I just love tenants who think that their rent is paying the Landlord’s mortgage.  

My most favourite tenant scam?  I ALWAYS drew up a lease, which clearly stated the names of the tenants allowed to reside in the rental unit, including any children.  I cannot think of any tenant who did not promptly ignore the stipulation of who could live there and moved in additional adults and sometimes even children.  You know, oh, she’s my niece, or he’s only staying a few days (which stretches into months).  The agreed-upon rent included utilities, based on the number of people.  What do you think happens to utility consumption when the number of people doubles or triples?   Especially since there was a full-size washer and dryer in their very own private laundry room.  Oh, and, get this, according to the bylaw person I spoke to in the Town down-below, the maximum number of people who can inhabit a dwelling, is based on space -100 square feet per person.  Thus, if the apartment is 1,200 square feet, which it was, that means 12 people could live there.  I was astounded that this could happen and when I pointed out that there was a legal, signed document, that being the lease, which stipulated the people who could live there, the reply was, “Bylaws trump lease.”  Nice, huh?  Why bother with a lease? 

Considering the lack of reasonable and available rental accommodation in this province, especially in the GTA and just a bit north, I really believe that Ontario has to be forward thinking when it comes to Landlords & Tenants and enforce the terms of a lease, the onus being on the adult tenants to understand what they are signing.  It should also be province-wide, not municipally enforced.  It sure would be simpler for Landlords to know that no matter where they buy a rental unit in Ontario, the laws will still be the same. 

I joined Landlord groups and organizations and read copiously to educate myself in the intricacies of Landlord & Tenant laws.  One of the organizations I joined enabled me to do credit checks on potential tenants (for a fee, of course).  It helped weed out some of the more undesirables.  Landlords have to learn how to use ‘The System’ better than unscrupulous tenants or the tenant could end up owning the Landlord.

What incentives are there for Landlords when government is so concerned with tenant’s rights that it is ignoring the Landlord’s?  What about giving Ontario Landlords the right to request a security deposit?  What does the government think happens when a Landlord has to evict a tenant?  The first thing many of them do is inflict damage upon the rental property.  A security deposit would most likely deter this kind of retaliation in a lot of cases, without the Landlord incurring additional financial stress by having to take the tenant to small claim’s court to be made whole.

The above are only a few examples of the trials and tribulations a Landlord faces, here in Ontario.  I could probably write a book just about the six or seven sets of tenants I endured, the last one taking the ‘peach’ award. 

Oh, and nowadays, let’s throw bed bugs into the mix and how much it can cost to get rid of them (thousands of $$$$), which a landlord is responsible for, even though it was the tenants who brought them into the premises in the first place.  Nice, huh?

And another wrinkle on the Landlord horizon – at this point in time, Landlords must only meet  minimum requirements for heating, usually between September and June (it differs between municipalities as to temperature and time frame) – ta da! coming soon to a theatre near you  – they may also have to provide air conditioning too!  Can you image the cost to retrofit?  And who do you think will be picking up the tab for that one?  The tenant, to some extent with increased rent, (and they’re already screaming about the high rents in the GTA), but I can guarantee you, it will be the Landlord who bears the brunt of the expense.  Whatever happened to a room fan blowing over a bowl full of ice cubes?

Give your head a shake, people, if you’re thinking about becoming a small landlord in Ontario.  Especially, if you’re planning to live in the same building as your tenants.  Given my experiences and what I read in the Newsletter, I think I would rather live under a bridge in a cardboard box than be a Landlord again.